Want to write for KNOBROCK?

Posted on Mar 22, 2011 / Posted by Ann Allen /

1. Do you fancy yourself as a bit of a wordsmith, with a love – or lust – for rock and heavy metal music?

2. Do you enjoy metal for its ferociousness, but also for it’s homo-erotic hilarity? AND 2a. Do you ‘get’ this question?

If so, we want to hear from you!

KNOBROCK would like to expand our brand of ridiculousness and we’re looking for writers to bring comedic gold to the table. Unfortunately for you, this isn’t a paying gig, so don’t get too excited about it, but if you’re a keen blogger, with a gift of the gab and you can make us literally ‘lol’ with your unusual insight into the psyche of a ‘guy in a band’, drop us a line.

Before you do though, let us just explain a bit further what we need in a writer:

a) A good vocabulary. If you don’t know the difference between say, council and counsel or moral and morale, you’re at risk of being on the receiving end of the wrath of Ann, so don’t give up your day job and don’t submit anything to us.

b) If you take your metal too seriously and you’re one of those comment posters over on blabbermouth.net, hurling abuse at everyone, as you fiercely defend your favourite band of all time, we shan’t ever work together, m-kay?

c) Small-minded genre-nazis aren’t encouraged to contact us either. Go to your live journal if you want to use homophobic slurs to describe anyone who doesn’t play the type of metal you’ve designated as heterosexual. The same goes for mainstream music. Yep, a lot of it is absolute bollocks, even pop fans will tell you that. Diversity is key here because us knobrockers love all kinds of metal and indeed all kinds of music!

It’s pretty clear from the current content and our other multimedia platforms that we’re here to have fun, make fun, have some laughs, but without dissing the greatest music of all time, not to mention its composers.

We’re looking for all sorts here, in locations all over the globe, from bands/band members, roadies, fans, parents, friends, tabloid journalists, contract-killers, you name it, who would like to guest blog on knobrock and rant about whatever it is that floats their boat or yanks their chain.

For more information and/or submission, email hq@knobrock.net and if you can include 500 words about anything, you’ll rawk!

COCK ‘n’ BULL

A Quick Update from Annie, at the KR Base-camp…

Greetings from planet KNOBROCK;

It has been a long time coming and not a moment too soon, but Lily and I are chuffed to tell our 14 readers that we are on our way back, we’re refreshed, we’re chill, and we even look rested, thanks to some monetary splurging at the local Botox clinic.

What we are unhappy about revealing is that we are also now orphans, too, but hey, we are made of tougher metal than… say… Warrant.

We’re flying by the seat of our pants for a little while, but stay tuned and we’ll have loads of new crap on our little self-indulgent, rock ‘n’ roll blog in the coming weeks, including the return of KNOBCAST, with Big Daddy Duane, and the “other” J.C. We also have some surprise new videos coming up, so why not subscribe to our youtube channel, too.

Don’t forget you can subscribe via email to KNOBROCK via the website, (which you will be reading this on, so there’s no need for that link), plus stop by our twitter, facebook, but probably not Myspace, because we only really use that page as a ruse for stalking people.

But until then though, rock on like David Essex, work for the weekend like Loverboy and remember; without the rock, we’re all just knobs.

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