The BEST/WORST Rock Videos According to KNOBROCK No 7!!!

Posted on Jan 23, 2011 / Posted by Ann Allen /

Well, we’re back with number seven and yes, we’re growing tired of compiling this list, but we’ve never let boredom get in the way of our vibrant career, even if it IS only damaging our bank accounts.

This week we entered a fierce debate over the cast members of the Jane’s Addiction video clip, Been Caught Stealing. (See review below.)  Bradford thinks Perry Farrell is playing the dancing transvestite, whereas relying on my keen – almost bizarre – knowledge of music and indeed music videos, I say it’s not him. In fact, I know it’s not him!  But let it be said;  whilst my  comment on this topic is glib, Bradford and I spent a good three hours, with back and forth emails, including a gazillion screen shots, proving that well… Bradford is wrong.

B, still doesn’t think he is wrong, of course. But hey, who really cares and so in the words of Motley Crue, let’s ‘go on with the show, go on with the show, c’mon baby, no, no, no.’

What the fucketty fuck does that mean?

Worst Video No. 7 – LOOKS THAT KILL – Motley Crue

Link via you tube user, jamsonic1

BADASS’ SUMMARY:

Motley Crue’s mainstream breakout hit, LOOKS THAT KILL, written by bass guitarist Nikki Sixx, is featured on the band’s 1984 album, SHOUT AT THE DEVIL. SATD spent 10 weeks on Billboard’s Hot 100 list, so basically, if you were conscious in 1984, and had MTV, for good or bad, this iconic video is cut into your brain.

By 1984 the Metal band aesthetic had transitioned from Alienated Broke-Ass Street-Punk to the full-on leather-glam of MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME. The guys of Motley Crue were no exception as they too metamorphosed, into Technicolor Creatures of Heavy Metal.

The video for, LOOKS THAT KILL, is a Broadway-styled riot of color, energy, sharp objects, and as Lily said, imitation Metal symbolism, set in a post-apocalyptic world.

The main thing I hope to discover in every music video is, “Deeper meaning*.” Deeper meaning equals deeper understanding and appreciation.

Why does LOOKS THAT KILL exist? What does it mean? Fucked if I know.

In the, LOOKS THAT KILL, video Nikki, Vince Mick and Tommy, corral a group of ferral, smokin’-hot, video dancers, all women, for their later enjoyment. This action unleashes the wrath of an Amazonian dominatrix in a leather thong who rescues the dancers then blasts the guys with a bolt of estrogenized energy. Don’t worry kids, the guys’ testosterone driven music, shields them from harm. The vengeful dominatrix has no choice but to seduce the guys to their destruction, one at a time, starting with that lucky-bastard, Vince Neil. Not happenin’ lady! The guys combine forces, (like Powder-Puff Girls), and use Pentagram Power to eschew her back into the wasteland.

THE END.

*Deeper meaning = completely abandoned. The lyrics offer no help either. But man, that girl is hott!

LILY SAYS:

This video has a bit of polarity for me. On one hand it is a shit, cheesy, low budget caricature of an 80′s heavy metal video. On the other hand I love it! It has everything you need to excite the heavy metal fans – pentagrams, drumstick twirling, B C Rich “Warlock” shaped guitar, half-naked chicks, head banging, leather and hot guys (except for Mick Mars) with make-up and big hair.

ANN SAYS:

Are they actually herding those women?

I was one of those girls, I’d be laughing at those leather-clad, torch-wielding terrorists, teetering on 12-inch heels they clearly can’t walk in, let alone chase me in.

Why if even one of these idiots waddled within arms-reach of me, I’d Jackie-Chan their ass, grab their torch, and light-’em all up like birthday candles. But that’s just how I roll.

BEST VIDEO No 7 – BEEN CAUGHT STEALING – Jane’s Addiction

Video link provided by you tube user, warnerbrosmusic

BRADFORD SAYS:

If this explosive tune hasn’t made you jump-up-n-down while punching the air and convulsively nodding so hard you got whiplash, you’ve probably just miraculously emerged from a 22-year coma.

There’s a reason, Been Caught Stealing, was named to The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s List of 500 Songs that Shaped Rock and Roll. A really, really good reason, Ritual De Lo Habitual, earned the #453 spot on, Rolling Stone Magazine’s List of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.

The video for, Been Caught Stealing, is a mad-cap-mash-up of John Waters’ styled visuals inspired by a comical, Hey-Hey-It’s-The Monkees’ montage, shaken-not-stirred with a generous dose of Reefer Madness, (the 2005 movie-musical, not the musical-musical, which I… don’t know anything about.)

I’d bet my anatomically-correct Lara Croft action figure that that’s Perry Farrell dressed as the woman in floral-pink, who shoves her way through the market stuffing junk-food up her skirt into a fake pregnant tummy.

LILY SAYS:

The song and the video make me want to get up and boogie… I think I could even consider stealing, especially from that supermarket. My favourite bit is the ‘woman’ hiding the pineapple.

ANN SAYS:

‘Snot Perry Farrell, B. If it was, it would put Perry in his mid to late sixties, today. That, and you see the guy sans pancake and lipliner at the beginning of the clip. He’s a middle aged, balding dude who weighs about a ‘buck o-five’, so I guess it’s time to hand over your favourite image of Miss Tombraider, from your spank bank.

I wonder what kind of world we would have, if that was how people conducted themselves in supermarkets…

Stay tuned for number six, where Badass bets his Playboy collection that the guy with only half a skull, covered in felt, is Billy Joel, after a hair transplant that went terribly wrong. (Blatant hint of next week’s best video  - not the Billy Joel reference, duh!…)

Tags: bc rich warlock, best/worst videos, dipshit, jane's addiction, motley crue, you tube